Stop telling women that we should find ourselves beautiful and that we should love ourselves when you are standing right there, judging us on how our knees look in short skirts and how prominent our boobs are in a sweater and how much makeup we are or are not wearing.
Instead of us working harder on “love your body” and “find your inner beauty”, the rest of the world should be working harder on “stop telling women their bodies are a shameful place to live but that if they’re strong enough, they will learn to embrace that shame.”
This is my body. It’s not “beautiful”. I don’t “love it”. I don’t have to. I don’t have to have any strong feelings about my body. And whatever feelings I do have are not somehow invalid if they’re not glowing reviews."
Elyse Mofo, “Don’t Tell Me to Love My Body”
This shit needs to be said more often.
Thiiiiiiiiiis! “Beauty” is not a thing that one needs to be a valuable human being, so seeing yourself as beautiful is not necessary to know yourself to be someone worth loving! I’ve always found the whole “everyone is beautiful in their own way!!!” thing to be frustrating, because it’s just reinforcing the notion that the most important thing for a lady is to be beautiful. UM NO.
Because you know what? NOT EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL and THAT’S OKAY. Just like not everybody can successfully garden, and not everybody can do higher-level mathematics, and not everybody can sing, and not everybody has 20/20 vision, and not everybody can make friends easily, ET CETERA. All of those ways of being are perfectly fine, and the people who are terrible gardeners shouldn’t be told they have to “love their garden” anyways even if the extent of their “garden” is a limp spider plant that’s quietly dying in the windowsill, because that limp spider-plant ISN’T A REFLECTION ON THAT PERSON’S WORTH. It doesn’t actually matter!
So what if I hate the ridiculous quantity of pimples I get all over my body, or wish my uterus just didn’t exist at all, or dislike the shape of my chin? SO WHAT? My self-worth isn’t ABOUT how I feel about my body, and fuck people who tell me I don’t love myself if I don’t love everything about my body. My body is imperfect, just like EVERYTHING ABOUT HUMANITY is imperfect, and I’m allowed to recognize this fact!